It’s not you, it’s quarantine.

Hi. It’s been a while. Did you miss me? Have you been seeing other blogs? Are they prettier than me?

It’s been a really long time since I posted anything on this blog. There are a few reasons for this:

1. I no longer resemble the “domestic goddess” I once was. I have two young children, a full-time job, two old lady cats, and ZERO free time. I still have that handsome husband. That’s the same. He has aged gracefully and is becoming a silver fox. I have attempted to broaden my interests beyond cooking and cleaning and have mainly just succeeded in broadening my ass.
2. There is no number two. I just have a young, demanding family and I don’t have time to produce anything except chicken nuggets and bottled frustration.

That said, this is a perfect time to squeeze in some more writing. To preserve my sanity and to hopefully make a few people chuckle. Social distancing would have been my dream come true before my blessed children arrived. For now, we’re all just doing the best we can while we hang on by a thread!

This is a disjointed post, but isn’t everything a little off the rails right now? More to come. Hopefully, with a little more focus. For now, I’ll leave you with these nuggets of wisdom from my six-year-old daughter, Jane:

“Cows are not my friends. They’re just not my core demographic.”

I don’t know who my core demographic is these days, but I hope someone enjoys reading my nonsense.

 

An Unworthy Tribute

As a tribute to Robin Williams, I decided I would make a pie that looked like the imaginary desserts eaten thrown around by the lost boys in film Hook. Nailed it!

Movie version:

My version:

I’m so sorry, Robin.

 

 

Seven Deadly Sins Around the House

Lust

Gluttony

Greed

Sloth

Wrath

Envy

Pride

Happy Mardi Gras!

Hello! It’s been a while. No, don’t be mad! Seriously, I’ve been really busy. I moved to Minnesota and had a baby. Okay, so I moved 2 years ago and my baby is seven weeks old. For real though, I’ve been super busy! You can keep being mad. I understand. But take a break from being surly to celebrate Fat Tuesday this week. If you make this King Cake, you’ll forgive me. It’s delicious.

 

 

Cocktails with Diane Keaton

No, I’m not reviving Suzette to reveal my big interview with Ms. Keaton. I’m moving soon and I thought I’d dig through my overtaxed hard drive, and in doing so I found some goodies to post.

A few years ago my cousins Amanda and Abbie and I threw a Diane Keaton-Themed bachelorette party for their sister, my cousin and best friend, Maggie. Yep, a Diane Keaton party. I think it’s terrifically cool. Here are some movie-role-inspired cocktails I invented to set the mood. Enjoy!

 Annie’s Revenge

1 pt. Vodka

1 pt. Seltzer or 7-Up

1 pt. Red Kool-aid

Serve over ice.

Better With Age

Red Wine

The W.A.S.P. Stinger

1 pt. Vodka

2 pt. Pineapple Juice

Combine Vodka and Pineapple juice in shaker with cracked ice. Shake and strain into glass.

Top with 1 shot Southern Comfort poured straight into top.  Don’t stir before serving.

The Blonde Sister

White Wine

The Other Sister

Blush Wine

Erica Berry

1 pt. Raspberry Vodka

2 pt. Seltzer

Moisten rim of glass with a halved strawberry and spin in sugar.

Throw the strawberry in the drink.

Serve over crushed ice

The Over-Bearing Mother

1 pt. Champagne

1 pt. Orange Juice

1 pt. Grapefruit Juice

Serve with ice…and a dose of guilt.

Father of the Bride

Light Beer (Bubbly and fresh, like a bride.)

Father of the Bride Pt.2

Guinness (A little heavier, like a pregnant lady.)

The Family Stone Sour

1 pt. Amaretto

1 pt. Tequila

1 pt. Sour Mix

Top with Orange Juice and garnish with a cherry and an orange slice.

Serve over ice.

(This one is not my original)

The Issue That Started It All

Lend Me Your Ear!

I love researching weird and lesser-known holidays, and today’s is definitely a bit puzzling. I have confirmed that December 8th is “Take It In the Ear Day” but I can’t find an explanation of what this means. I’m leaving it open for interpretation. Any ideas?

Perhaps for the time being we can assume that it’s either related to listening to others, being an understanding friend, or maybe it’s music-related. Another possibility is that it has something to do with hearing and/or ear health. I have no idea. While we think on this for a while, let’s enjoy my favorite ear-related cartoon.

‘Noggin It Up

It took me a while to work up the courage to make a drink with raw (well, slightly cooked) eggs, but I’m really happy I finally made homemade eggnog this year.

I searched for a recipe for a quite a while and finally found one that I felt comfortable trying. This recipe is from Weight Watchers, but it certainly doesn’t taste like a diet beverage. It actually tastes a lot like vanilla cake batter. Yummy!

1 large egg
1/4 cup fat-free egg subsitute
1/4 cup sugar
2 cups fat-free evaporated milk
1 tsp vanilla extract
2 oz brandy or rum
1 tsp nutmeg

Beat together egg, egg substitute and sugar in a medium bowl; set aside. Warm milk in a small saucepan until it steams (do not boil); very gradually beat milk into egg mixture.

Return egg-milk mixture to stove and cook over low heat, stirring constantly, until thickened slightly and very steamy. Do not let eggnog boil. Stir in vanilla and chill thoroughly.

Stir brandy into chilled eggnog. Pour into four glasses and sprinkle a touch of nutmeg on top of each serving. Yields about 3/4 cup per serving.

Giving is Great!

As you’ve probably noticed, Suzette hasn’t been following the normal schedule this week. Monday’s post made me think a little more about the upcoming holidays and the real meaning of the season.

Instead of posting cooking, home and decorating ideas, I spent the week creating ornaments with a purpose.

My collection of Mardi Gras Doubloon Ornaments were hand-fashioned from vintage Mardi Gras doubloons and costume jewlery. They are available on Etsy.com and most importantly, a portion of the proceeds will go to the New Orleans Habitat for Humanity.

Keep giving this holiday season! Every little effort makes a difference for someone in need.

Books For Soldiers

Screw Black Friday shopping! This week I did some real giving for the holiday season. I joined the forum and applied to volunteer at Books For Soldiers.

Books for Soldiers collects books and other media requested by soldiers currently serving overseas. Please check it out! It’s easy to become a volunteer to collect books and care packages, or to simply donate a little cash to help get these men and women some entertainment while they serve our country.