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It’s not you, it’s quarantine.

May 1, 2020

Hi. It’s been a while. Did you miss me? Have you been seeing other blogs? Are they prettier than me?

It’s been a really long time since I posted anything on this blog. There are a few reasons for this:

  1. I no longer resemble the “domestic goddess” I once was. I have two young children, a full-time job, two old lady cats, and ZERO free time. I still have that handsome husband. That’s the same. He has aged gracefully and is becoming a silver fox. I have attempted to broaden my interests beyond cooking and cleaning and have mainly just succeeded in broadening my ass.
  2. There is no number two. I just have a young, demanding family and I don’t have time to produce anything except chicken nuggets and bottled frustration.

That said, this is a perfect time to squeeze in some more writing. To preserve my sanity and to hopefully make a few people chuckle. Social distancing would have been my dream come true before my blessed children arrived. For now, we’re all just doing the best we can while we hang on by a thread!

This is a disjointed post, but isn’t everything a little off the rails right now? More to come. Hopefully, with a little more focus. For now, I’ll leave you with these nuggets of wisdom from my six-year-old daughter, Jane:

“Cows are not my friends. They’re just not my core demographic.”

I don’t know who my core demographic is these days, but I hope someone enjoys reading my nonsense.

 

An Unworthy Tribute

August 19, 2014

As a tribute to Robin Williams, I decided I would make a pie that looked like the imaginary desserts eaten thrown around by the lost boys in film Hook. Nailed it!

Movie version:

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My version:

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I’m so sorry, Robin.

 

 

Seven Deadly Sins Around the House

July 30, 2014

Lust

Lust

Gluttony

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Greed

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Sloth

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Wrath

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Envy

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Pride

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Happy Mardi Gras!

March 2, 2014

Hello! It’s been a while. No, don’t be mad! Seriously, I’ve been really busy. I moved to Minnesota and had a baby. Okay, so I moved 2 years ago and my baby is seven weeks old. For real though, I’ve been super busy! You can keep being mad. I understand. But take a break from being surly to celebrate Fat Tuesday this week. If you make this King Cake, you’ll forgive me. It’s delicious.

 

Suzette March 2011.indd

 

Cocktails with Diane Keaton

May 26, 2012

No, I’m not reviving Suzette to reveal my big interview with Ms. Keaton. I’m moving soon and I thought I’d dig through my overtaxed hard drive, and in doing so I found some goodies to post.

A few years ago my cousins Amanda and Abbie and I threw a Diane Keaton-Themed bachelorette party for their sister, my cousin and best friend, Maggie. Yep, a Diane Keaton party. I think it’s terrifically cool. Here are some movie-role-inspired cocktails I invented to set the mood. Enjoy!

 Annie’s Revenge

1 pt. Vodka

1 pt. Seltzer or 7-Up

1 pt. Red Kool-aid

Serve over ice.

Better With Age

Red Wine

The W.A.S.P. Stinger

1 pt. Vodka

2 pt. Pineapple Juice

Combine Vodka and Pineapple juice in shaker with cracked ice. Shake and strain into glass.

Top with 1 shot Southern Comfort poured straight into top.  Don’t stir before serving.

The Blonde Sister

White Wine

The Other Sister

Blush Wine

Erica Berry

1 pt. Raspberry Vodka

2 pt. Seltzer

Moisten rim of glass with a halved strawberry and spin in sugar.

Throw the strawberry in the drink.

Serve over crushed ice

The Over-Bearing Mother

1 pt. Champagne

1 pt. Orange Juice

1 pt. Grapefruit Juice

Serve with ice…and a dose of guilt.

Father of the Bride

Light Beer (Bubbly and fresh, like a bride.)

Father of the Bride Pt.2

Guinness (A little heavier, like a pregnant lady.)

The Family Stone Sour

1 pt. Amaretto

1 pt. Tequila

1 pt. Sour Mix

Top with Orange Juice and garnish with a cherry and an orange slice.

Serve over ice.

(This one is not my original)

The Issue That Started It All

January 14, 2011

Lend Me Your Ear!

December 8, 2010

I love researching weird and lesser-known holidays, and today’s is definitely a bit puzzling. I have confirmed that December 8th is “Take It In the Ear Day” but I can’t find an explanation of what this means. I’m leaving it open for interpretation. Any ideas?

Perhaps for the time being we can assume that it’s either related to listening to others, being an understanding friend, or maybe it’s music-related. Another possibility is that it has something to do with hearing and/or ear health. I have no idea. While we think on this for a while, let’s enjoy my favorite ear-related cartoon.